Struggles

Not all that a missionary does is dramatic events or comical moments that lead to a great ending or punch line.  I promised to share this entire journey with you and am still committed to doing that.  I said in my last post that it has been difficult to write because of the struggles.  Most of what I have experienced so far has been very positive, most has been reaffirmation from God on the reason I am here. 

I want to be clear that I am not trying to complain or look for sympathy for myself.  I had some pretty lofty goals set out for myself when I arrived in country a few months ago.    I had been told not to be disappointed if those goals were not met in my timeline but to look for them to occur at a later date.  I am finding those tidbits of advice from my leaders and seasoned missionaries to be fulfilled prophecy. 

I was recently given the book Expectations and Burnout; Women Surviving the Great Commission by Sue Eenigenburg and Robynn Bliss and asked to read it.  I am only a few chapters into the book and am feeling as though it were written to me.  I came with idealistic expectations, so when I did not meet those expectations it began to feel a bit like failure.  As I read this book I am seeing that it is not just me and these are not failures.

I’m not talking about a major event.  It is more about the little things that are wearing on me.  When we listen to the stories of missionaries they rarely tell you about the day the clothesline broke with all the clean wet clothes that you just hand washed landing in the mud.  We don’t hear about the day you started the car five times before you got it in gear and backed out your gate.  Although we may hear about language barriers we don’t realize the frustrations of not being able to get the groceries you need, can bring you to tears.  We don’t consider how a simple act like going to the market can become a major event wiping out all the energy you have.  

It is just more difficult to live here.  Simple everyday tasks such as filling the car with petrol can take hours.  It is not at all uncommon to get ready for a shower and discover as you are turning the knob that the tank has run dry or to finally sit down in front of a fan in an attempt to cool off only to have the power go out.  It is the little conveniences like being able to buy a loaf of bread that you begin to miss the most.

I was told before moving here that once on the field your life is under a magnifying glass.  That is true, but I am finding that everything seems magnified including my blessings.  I have always loved flowers and seen beauty where others simply glanced at a bloom.  Now it is not just a flower.  There is a rich velvety texture in each petal.  I see shapes and colors more clearly.  Where I once saw a graceful elegance in a flower I now see God’s love and a reminder that He is with me everywhere I look and in everything I do.  I am grateful for the trials because it seems to be making my vision clearer.

I was reminded of Romans 5:3-5 last night.

“…we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  A hope that does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us.”

Related articles

• What Missionaries need. (shawnsprooptiki.wordpress.com)
• He is with you! (examiner.com)

Getting oriented

This is my first post since Christmas and I have no idea how to start.  A lot happens in a month.  I had promised to share both the ups and downs of this journey and somehow just can’t bring myself to share the struggles.  Things are ok, just different than I had anticipated.  I will start by telling you about one of the trips I took this month.

Part of my orientation was to visit Dar Es Salaam, the capitol city and get oriented.  I needed to know where the airport and bus terminals were.  I needed to find the trauma center and embassy.  The branch administrator’s wife agreed to go with me more importantly she drove.  Whew what help that was!  We stayed in a guest house that was relatively clean.  It had towels, hot water AND an air conditioner!  WOOHOO!  That was the first air-conditioned room I have seen since arriving in late, late August.  With the rising temps and only a fan in my home that was a very welcomed treat.  The guest house had a good bed.  I got a wonderful night of rest the first night. 

While we were in Dar we hit a couple of the shopping centers.  I was able to get dishes, pans and some other house hold goods that I had been looking for.  I got prices on a fridge and stove which I will wait a couple of months to purchase.  Hoping I can get a better deal if I wait for a sale.  Even the full price is within my budget, just thinking if I could save enough I might be able to get a washing machine too.  That would be so wonderful. 

When we returned I was pretty busy preparing for a two week stay in a village near Mikumi National Park.  The next few posts will deal with the things that I saw and experienced while there.  With this trip my orientation phase is drawing to a close.  I am growing into a fully fledged missionary.  But that is far from where this story will end.  Follow these posts as I share the ups and downs of my journey.

 

Christmas blessings

Christmas is over.  The dishes are all washed and the floors are mopped.  The Christmas tree is coming down and looking for a good storage place until next year.  Friends have gone home and the leftovers are dwindling.  I had hoped to write another post or two about Christmas, the Magi, and what I was doing.  I just ran out of time. 

This is my first Christmas in East Africa.  It is not the first time that I have spent the holidays away from family.  I know all too well what it is like to wake up alone on Christmas Day.  I had thought about going to a beautiful beach and enjoying some time alone with God.  My thinking was “He knows my heart and will give me what I need.”  He did give me what I needed but not in the form of a cresting sun over an idyllic beach.  My plans to go on hiatus were canceled. 

As the holiday approached I learned there would be some special church services.  I also heard that some friends were going to only spend one day in town between advanced language classes and vacation.  I asked their family of 6 to join me for lunch.  Then I learned other friends from Norway would be here in a local hotel for a couple of days.  As time passed opportunities grew.

On Christmas Eve I baked cakes and made candies.  In the evening I went to a special service at the Church next door to my home.  We sang Christmas hymns by candlelight and listened as scripture was read.  When it was over I came home and had tea and chatted with my guard who knows no English.  I checked Skype before going to bed and had the blessing of talking to my family.  The kids were watching Santa travel around the world and had checked to see when he would be arriving here.  What fun that was.

When I woke Christmas day I felt an extra measure of peace and joy.  I had 16 people, from 3 countries, coming to my home for lunch.  I made a somewhat traditional American meal complete with cornbread dressing.  We ate, laughed and fumbled with languages.  Then in the evening I went to a social next door.  We sang carols, laughed some more, ate again and watched the Nativity Story. 

I realized that my best memories of Christmas were lots of people and lots of food.  God knew that and provided exactly what I needed when I needed it.  This was a fabulous Christmas!  It is my prayer that you were equally as blessed.

The meaning of Christmas

Image via Wikipedia

What is the meaning of Christmas?  Is it the “magic” brought by a legendary figure known as Santa Claus or is it still recognized as a time to celebrate the birth of a Savior?  With the commercialization of the season some people would argue it is neither.  The word Christmas comes from Old English Cristes mæsse.  The literal translation is Christ’s (referencing Jesus Christ, the Christian Savior) Mass (a feast or celebration).  Christ’s Mass is a term recorded as early as 1038 a.d.  Given the origin of the name, it is my feeling that we should celebrate the holiday as a day to remember the birth of Jesus.

In the Bible you find two accounts of the birth of Jesus.  One is found in Matthew, the other in Luke.  According to the biblical accounts Jesus was born to a young virgin named Mary.  Mary had gone with her betrothed Joseph to the town of Bethlehem to register for a census.  When they arrived they found there were many other people doing the same thing and there was no room at the inn.  We are told that Mary gave birth to our King as was foretold in the Old Testament prophecies.  She laid him a manger, which suggests that they were staying in a stable among live stock.

Popular iconic images show an adoring mother leaning over a babe wrapped in swaddling cloth laying in a wooden box and surrounded by animals.  In reality the stable was probably a cave and the manger was likely made of stone and filled with straw.  Shepherds in the surrounding fields were awakened by an angel and told of the birth.  They would have been the first to see the child who would later become the ultimate sacrifice.

Sometime later Magi from the East came to worship the child who was born King of the Jews.  These men are often referred to as the three kings or three wise men.  The Bible never actually says they were kings or how many there were.  I will look at the Magi and their gifts in another post.

For centuries, Christians have been celebrating Christmas as an event to honor the birth of Jesus Christ.  John Chrysostom preached a sermon in Antioch c. 386 which established the date of Christmas as December 25.  Although the Bible does not give us a specific date for His birth, Christian writers accepted that Christmas was the actual date on which Jesus was born.  There have been songs, poems and art created through the centuries which pay homage to a mighty King from humble beginnings.

I can remember as a child being told that we should celebrate Christ’s birth everyday not just on Christmas.  I agree with that statement but would like to amend it slightly by saying that anytime I am given free berth to talk about my King I will take it.  I believe that Christ should be the central focus of this holiday.  It’s not about a wish list.  It’s not about where you are.  It is about a gift greater than you or I could ever have thought of.  For me it is about the Son of God.

The Christmas tree

I will start this post the way I ended the last.  What do you think of when you think Christmas?  What are some of your favorite holiday memories?  Are they religiously based?  Are you sure?  I have found that most people answer those questions simply with the birth of Christ and some sentiment of time spent with family and friends.  In this post and subsequent posts in the next week or two I will be looking at some history of our traditions.  I am looking for ways to appropriately blend my cultural traditions with those of my host culture.

I had prepared myself to have no Christmas decorations this year.  I am in a country where simplicity is a virtue.  I have described my mother’s and my own decorating style as “over the top”.   The more things sparkle the better I like it.  I struggled with whether or not I would put out even one Christmas decoration and what that might be.  I did not know that artificial trees were even available here.  So one afternoon about two weeks ago I walked into my favorite stationary store which is run by a pair of Muslim brothers.  I was shocked to find three trees, blinking lights and a handful of decorations for sale. 

I realized as I was standing in that store that a Christmas tree was an ingrained tradition for me.   I missed it and I wanted one.  I had to question that since I knew that the tree was originally part of a pagan winter solstice festival.  I went home and searched my heart in prayer.  I also searched my bible for any reference I could find to anything that might resemble a tree of pagan or other origin.  Finally I resorted to searching the internet for origins of traditions. 

I found the first documented Christmas trees in churches date back to the 15^th century.  In Germany in the Middle Ages an evergreen tree was part of a popular play which depicted the expulsion of Adam and Eve from paradise.  Soon after that time trees began to show up in the homes of the upper class, adorned with nuts, fruit and gilded candies which were collected by children on Christmas day.  By the 18^th century trees were a regular part of Christmas traditions in many parts of the world, especially with royalty.  They were introduced in Britain in the early 19^th century when Prince Albert brought the tradition from his native Germany. 

By the 21^st century Christmas trees, garland, electric lights and ornate decorations could be found around the world.  In America a decorated tree is a strong symbol of Christmas and serves as the center of attention for many families.  We place gifts under it and gather around it for family time.  There are decorated trees found in town squares and most every mall in the states. 

Whether you regard Christmas as a celebration of the birth of Christ or not, it is hard for many Americans to think of Christmas without a tree.  I guess I am one of them.  So I bought the little scraggly tree and a strand of lights.  I made decorations from scrapbook paper and erected it in the corner of my common room.  While I can find no connection of a tree to the birth of our Savior I do find it gives me a special feeling.  I think that feeling is called Christmas spirit.

For me a tree brings up special memories of family and friends.  For me it does not represent anything religious.  It is just a symbol of a season that I recognize, like a pumpkin is fall or daffodils are spring.  A sparkly tree brings me a feeling of warmth in my heart.  That feeling is a cherished memory for me.  What are some of your favorite memories?

Christmas symbols and traditions

With the Christmas season upon us I have been thinking a lot about the symbols we use to remind us of the meaning of the holiday.  Having recently moved to a culture much different than my own, I am finding that symbols are very important to us.  We use symbols in many ways, just think about road signs.  Many popular holiday symbols and customs have a pre-Christian or secular origin, some of those customs include a Christmas tree, gift giving, and a figure known as Santa Claus or Saint Nicholas.  

In my family a ornately adorned Christmas tree with blinking lights is a tradition that has been cherished.  The children anxiously await the arrival of Santa Claus.  We cook special deserts and make finger foods that make only one appearance a year at the holiday get together.  I always eat too much of the wrong thing. I can still remember the excitement of being in the kitchen with my mom making the finger foods, drinking the first cup of grandma’s punch and the sweet taste of granny’s buckeye candy.  As adults I still make those buckeyes for my cousin who loves them as much as I do.  (Chad, apologies, I won’t be able to do that this year.)

Being in another culture I am learning a lot about other traditions.  This is not the first time I have been away from home on Christmas.  It is the first time I have felt so detached from the season, so I have been doing a little research on some of our American traditions.  In the next couple of posts I will be looking at some of those traditions and “thinking out loud” about which customs I will continue.  You can be sure food will be a part of my tradition.

What do you think of when you think Christmas?  What are some of your favorite holiday memories?  Are they religiously based?  Are you sure?

Eating Dagaa

a hand full of dagaa

Recently one of my young teachers went with me to the open market to get fresh vegetables and fruit. Earlier in the day during our class study she had told me about Dagaa. She obviously loves them and thinks they are delicious. She is a very private person and as far as I know has not asked for anything.

While we were at the market we happened by a stand which was selling Dagaa. She used it as a great teaching moment. She asked if I remembered what they were called and told me a short story about when they are used. She then asked if we could get some and she would come to my home to teach me how to cook them. I agreed and bought some.

I had bought several things that day which were all put in black plastic bags which you cannot see through. When I got home I had to “clean” everything. As I opened the bags each one was a surprise. I got to the Dagaa bag not realizing she had sent them home with me. Dagaa is a bit like dried minnows. When I opened that bag and saw all those little eyes looking at me I was a bit shocked.

My teacher and her young sister came to my home about a week later and gave me a cooking lesson. To make Dagaa you pop the heads off and fry them in oil with potatoes, carrots, and onions. They also taught me how to make ugali and mchicha. Ugali is boiled corn flour. It gets very thick like a dough. You form a small ball in your hand and dip it into your meat or vegetables and soup. Mchicha is a green similar to collard greens or spinach. It is fried with onions and tomatoes.

When we sat down to eat I had such a hard time. I just kept thinking of my mother saying to me as a child, “you don’t have to like it but you do have to try it.” It was important to my teacher that I try these. She was very excited to know what I thought of them. I ate a few bites and said I was very full and could eat no more. The truth is my mother just didn’t teach me to eat that and I could eat nothing else for about a day. I have been asked how I could have eaten it. All I can say is there are some things you do for others. This was one of those things. It was such a small thing to do. It was a blessing to have this young woman share this part of her culture with me! I hope I conveyed that message.

More than one wife?

It has not been long since I sat in a missions class at Harding University and listened to a professor ask the students a hypothetical question.  At least, I thought at the time it had to be hypothetical.  Only two short years later I find myself living in a society in East Africa where it is common for a man to marry more than one wife.  The hypothetical question from my professor has become all too real.

The question is: Is it scriptural for a man to have more than one wife?  That question spurs other questions.  If the man is already married to more than one woman when he becomes Christian does he keep them all or divorce one and which one/s? 

Then you have to consider the culture.  If a woman is divorced and sent back to her village or family it brings terrible shame on the family.  They may be asked to return the bride price that was originally paid for her.  Many times she will be shunned, having nowhere to go and no way of supporting herself.  Some women in that situation turn to prostitution.  So does the husband continue to support all the wives and only live with one?  Not having children is also shameful here.  Is it scriptural to keep her in a marriage and refuse her children?

Older men are seen as leaders in some situations by default, simply because they are older.  Life experience is counted great here.  So if he is seen as an elder does it matter if he is married to more than one wife?  Is it the position that is elected only?

As far as I am aware, the scriptures do not specifically address the issue of multiple wives in modern societies.  We are told in 1 Tim3:2 that an “elder” must be the husband of one wife.  The word elder here is actually ἐπίσκοπον in Greek which means one who has the responsibility of safeguarding or seeing to it that something is done.  In essence this would be a guardian.  In the church today, I think, most people use the words elder or shepherd. 

Then you can look to examples of men who had more than one wife or took a concubine into their beds and see how those examples quickly head south.  Most of these stories don’t say it is right or wrong.  They just give examples of what went wrong for them and some explanation of why.  For me the best example is that of Adam and Eve.  God created one man and one woman.  He intended for the family unit to be one male and one female who procreate. 

So here is a hypothetical situation that is actually developing before my eyes.  There is a man who decides to become Christian, which his family, from another major world religion, finds to be a personal affront to their entire way of life for generations.  To become Christian is to turn your back on all traditions which are not all bad.  Many of the traditions were done to protect the bloodlines and food supplies. I went to a wedding a week or so ago which paid homage to many of the traditions.  It was fascinating though odd to me in many ways.

The issue of multiple wives is just one topic that many missionaries and evangelists in East Africa face today.

 

the slave trade

Last weekend a couple of friends and I decided we needed a little R & R and a beach scene would do just the trick.  One of the other ladies was familiar with a town called Bagamoyo which is on the coast of the Indian Ocean just north of Dar Es Salaam.  She even found a great budget hotel.  The two day, one night stay was so wonderful.  My room opened to a gorgeous ocean front view.  It was a very small hotel at the end of the road so there was little traffic and the staff was incredibly attentive. 

While there we enjoyed learning some of the history of the town and region.  The capitol of German East Africa during the colonial period, Bagamoyo was founded in the 1700’s.  Just south of town are the Kaole ruins with mosques that date to the 13^th century.  With a rich heritage today the towns boasts some 30,000 inhabitants.  Much of the population still use fishing as a primary source of income.  Their boats are small wooden crafts who often journey into the deepest waters of the ocean.  As we walked along the beach we watched the fishing boats tie down and carry in their catch.  We stopped to visit with some of them. 

Along the way we also encountered a man selling coconuts.  He knew I wanted a coconut and got one ready but would not pop it open until I could ask for it properly in Swahili.  He pretended not to know any English until the transaction was complete, then he became fluent in English.  It was so much fun!  We all got a coconut and drank it was we walked down the beach back to our hotel.  Once at the hotel we asked for spoons and scooped out the jelly. 

On the beach you could see ruins of a compound which was used to house slaves.  I walked up the ramp to look inside.  As I walked back down the ramp I was overcome with emotions.  The view from the ramp was beautiful but I knew that many who had walked those steps before me had seen it with a different view.  For some of them it was the first time they had ever seen that much water and for most it would be the last they saw of Africa.  It is chilling to even think about.

Under the German rule Bagamoyo became an important trading port for ivory and the slave trade.  In Swahili Bagamoyo means “lay down your heart.”  There was a major slave route which ran from Bagamoyo through central Tanzania to the African interior.  Slaves were bought and captured then taken back to Bagmoyo where they were either bought or moved to Zanzibar to be sold to the highest bidder.  Children were often sold for the amount of grain that would only fill a man’s hat.  In the 18^th century it was not an unusual sight to see hundreds of slaves walking through Bagamoyo shackled together with chains around their necks. 

I would like to visit Bagamoyo again soon and take more time looking at the history, visiting the museum and possibly visit the art college there. The only art college in Tanzania is there.  We also visited with some of the vendors at a local market.  I met a painter who is blessed with a talent that few people have.  I bought a painting of a lioness stalking the viewer.  It is realistic and the lighting is beautiful.  

It was a wonderful time of renewal.  Sitting in front of one of God’s most glorious creations I was reminded of a beautiful Christian song. 

Have you seen Jesus my Lord?  He’s here in plain.

Have you ever stood at the ocean and seen the white foam at your feet?

Felt the endless thundering motion, Then I’d say that you’ve seen Jesus my Lord.

 

Where have you seen Jesus today?

tools of the trade for fishermen of Bagamoyo

Dena coming down the ramp in the ruins at Bagamoyo

Wind storms tonight

We are having storms tonight with high winds.  It has taken down several trees on property.  One tree almost fell on a guard as it came down.  She ran in a toilet structure and was spared harm.  One tree fell on a power line, two others grazed buildings.  Our window screens are torn from branches.  Torn screens open the flood gates for mosquitos to enter the house carrying infections like Malaria.  See previous post to understand why that upsets me so badly.

Screens and nets will go a long way to preventing Malaria.  Think I will douse the mosquito net with extra bug spray and crawl under it.  Right now!  But not before saying that I see God blessing us even in the middle of this storm.